I GOT IT ON eBAY!

No, seriously, I did. As I sit in my condo I think - how could we have possibly done it without eBay? We have downright purchased everything but the kitchen sink on eBay (OK - the garbage disposal but not the sink.) Here's a quick list:

• Kitchen Aid Stainless Steel Dishwasher (new)
• Nine-piece 1930's Art Deco Dining Room set (delivered!)
• Insinkerator Garbage Disposal (new)
• 1950's Chandelier
• Numerous 30's, 40's and 50's glassware collections
• Numerous signed and numbered rock art posters (new)
• Decorative 1950's Pyrex
• Many retro serving pieces
• Art Deco Horse Head Lamp
• Books & CD's
• Computer Equipment
• Sterling Silver jewelry components
• Art Beads
• Lenox Nydia additions to my dinnerware
• a new Kidney (OK - maybe I'm just exaggerating now...)

Anyhow - you get the picture right? It seems if they don't sell it on eBay - it doesn't exist. And to prove my theory I looked up: "Ghosts", "Loch Ness Monster", "Excuses" and "Proof of God". They all returned search results.

Of course, I don't think that that proves that they exist. It just proves you can buy ANYTHING on eBay.

THE ACHES AND PAINS OF TURNING 29 - ER - 40

OK - so I'm not ashamed to say I'm turning 40. And unlike any other birthday I've celebrated I've been obsessed with this one for about the past 10 months. Now, I don't FEEL 40 unless you consider that I was just fitted for my first pair of reading glasses. Or that while carrying about $5,000 worth of framed art for an art auction last week I tripped and fell on my knees then side (and didn't damage a single corner) and have the bruises to show it. Or that about 3 days later I tripped in my own bedroom and fell flat on my face. Or that I wake up sore just from having sat at my desk all day long. Or that I am fighting a losing battle with my grey roots...

No - I still feel 29! You know why? It's because I still go to concerts (Nine Inch Nails!) and I still buy things that are considered trendy (platforms!) and that I still dye my hair more than one color at a time (OK - maybe that's to camouflage the grey). Or maybe it's because I can still talk "pop culture" and I mean today's pop culture and not just what happened back in the 80's.

So, I might need a little more sleep, or to stretch my knees until they pop, or to put on glasses to read but dammit I still feel young!

And you know what else?

Chances are - I still look better than you. ;-)

THEY WANT ME TO WORK AND STUFF

Ok - I know it's been a long time since my last post. See - this job - well it keeps getting in the way. I have to talk to people and write things and mail things and whatnot. Apparently they think I'm here for them...

I just returned from our Annual Convention and Trade Show. For those of you that have never worked one of the events it goes something like this:

6:oo am - Show up for a staff meeting that was cancelled without anyone ever telling you. Proceed to kill time until 7:00 by daydreaming about sleeping.
7:00 am - Give out handouts
7:12 am - Remind a speaker (repeatedly) to speak INTO the microphone because the session is being recorded
7:15 am - Prop open eyelids with toothpicks
8:00 am - Collect evaluations with illegible scribble
8:12 am - Dodge annoying member
8:30 am - Try to imagine what it would be like to still be sleeping.
9:07 am - Wonder how you can be receiving enough compensation to do all of this running around and answering questions and troubleshooting and starving...
10:02 am - Try not to scream at co-worker for being an idiot
11:22 am - Dodge lecherous member
1:00 pm - Try to dodge people long enough to eat so you don't have to talk with your mouth full
1:02 pm - Send someone to the wrong room
2:43 pm - Try to figure out which room you should have been in an hour ago
3:00 pm - Answer the SAME question for the 4,765th time (that day)
3:18 pm - Dodge ugly member
3:53 pm - Reminisce about the old days when you worked in a daycare center with 12 babies under 6 months. Remember how it was easier than this...
4:07 pm - Wonder why that part of your foot hurts...and that part of your elbow...and that part of your earlobe.
4:09 pm - Begin a love hate relationship with your shoes
4:27 pm - Yell at hotel staff
5:06 pm - Dodge lecherous member again
5:09 pm - Finally make it to bathroom
6:14 pm - Wonder if you will ever get to eat dinner
7:02 pm - Flirt with cute member - try to get food from them
7:35 pm - Move boxes - anywhere but where they are right now
8:23 pm - Go to restaurant - wish that annoying staff members had their own credit cards so they could eat on thier own
8:24 pm - Listen to them bitch about everything
9:45 pm - Start to head to room - get waylayed by member who wants to discuss an important issue
10:18 pm - Try to imagine what it would be like to be sleeping
11:42 pm - Beg member to let you go to your room so you can get some sleep
12:07 pm - Got to sleep

Repeat