LOSING MY RELIGION

I suppose to say I "lost my religion" implies I had any to begin with. Now I just seem to be losing my patience with religious people.

Oh don't get me wrong - I have lots of church (used in the broad sense) going friends but it's all of those people

OUT THERE

that are driving me batty.

I'm speaking of THOSE PEOPLE that see the virgin Mary in their corn flakes, hear God tell them to kill their sinning neighbors, and join the cult called "scientology".

OK - so really the fact is that I'm completely jealous. I mean, why didn't I think of creating a secret religion that worships an alien tyrant named Xenu? Celebrities think we commoners look upon them with awe because of how rich and/or famous they are. Oh we look, and read the Star, and watch tabloid TV but it is because we can't believe how incredibly STUPID this particular group of people has become.

I mean when one comes into a lot of money and fame do they look at the book Dianetics and think - this is the bible I've been missing! When I become rich and famous perhaps I will look upon "Interview with a Vampire" in a whole new light.

Is Lestat in fact God?

But I do have plans to go to Second Life and create a cat-based religion and get rich that way. I mean come on - those people live in a world of fiction - why NOT worship cats.

How about we all just be nice to each other. That doesn't cost anything but patience and it doesn't insult anyone's intelligence.

And I won't be forced to watch John Revolting - er - Travolta speak of his people anymore.