MERRY EXCESSMAS!

I love the holiday season! And no - that is not my generic way of saying "Christmas" so as not to offend anyone who might be offended. It is my way of saying the entire time from Thanksgiving to the New Year's hangover. (However, the things I do find offensive are the incredibly huge inflatable snowmen and snowglobes people put in their yards!)

I love eggnog (though my diet doesn't), tree selection (even with the trail of needles it leaves), off-key carols (especially the Little Drummer Boy), decorating (looks like St. Nick threw up ornaments all over my house), shopping (OK - well I ALWAYS love that), selecting gift wrap (coordination is key), and hosting guests (of all faiths).

To me Christmas is less about religion and more about the extreme excess we are capable of at this time. If I could get away with over-decorating my house with various themes and buying gifts for people throughout the year (without people thinking I'm insane) I would. I realize that this may offend some but I gotta be honest here. I haven't been to church for anything other than a wedding or funeral since I was about 12. (Unless of course you count touring famous cathedrals to see dead people.) To me, organized religion is a business with strange rules dictated by various religious scholars that may change at the drop of a hat. Remember the movie "The Wiz"? If not, rent it. (The wizard grows bored of the Emerald City's color and dictates a change - roughly every 10 minutes...)

And I would venture to guess that the throngs of people jostling in lines at the assorted retailers right now are in my same shoes. I do believe that there is a certain spirit to Christmas - be kind to others, give till it hurts (or puts you over your credit limit), welcome those relatives you don't much like into your homes. This time of year gives me the warm fuzzies.

I've often considered ditching Christmas. I mean, why go to all the bother? I'm not religious. Let's save our money for a nice vacation. Let's not get a tree. Let's stay home.

But I just can't! I need to be out there - choosing the perfect gift, waiting at the post office to buy stamps and mail packages (although I strongly encourage you to use Harry & David), and waiting for the big day when you can "demonstrate" your spirit (i.e. count how many packages under the tree are for you).

Call it what you want - a religious holiday, a hallmark occasion, whatever. If you choose not to partake that is fine. But don't ruin it for the rest of us extremists!

Me? I prefer to call it Excessmas!

Oh yeah - and Happy Birthday Baby Jesus. (There, was that religious enough for you?)