I SINK SHE IS BROKE

So, in the long list of home repairs that took place over the summer we chose to update our bathrooms. As a condo dweller one becomes very adept at scheduling any home repair job. Due to a shortage of extra space, if you don’t time things right you may end up sleeping with the old toilet. As a result, home repairs end up a sort of choreographed waltz with new parts arriving as old parts leave, etc…which is why it really screws things up when deliveries are delayed, lost or broken.

We had to special order a sink, because somehow, like the rest of our unit, nothing is a standard size. I have had to special order virtually everything from the furnace filters (by the dozen - only $15 a piece) to the window coverings because NOTHING is a standard size.

Nonetheless we trudged into our not-so-local home improvement giant to order our special sink. If we didn’t actually ever need to close the bathroom door this wouldn’t be an issue but Jon has this weird thing about privacy…

Anyhow, we order this faux granite pentagon shaped sink – because hey – if it’s got to be special ordered it may as well be “special”. Two weeks later, as scheduled, we receive a call to come and pick it up. So we drive all the way back out to the not-so-local home improvement giant once again to claim our overpriced prize.

“Wait here and we’ll have someone bring it up – it’ll be about ten minutes.”

Forty-five minutes later our sink arrives. When we open the box we are dismayed to see that the bottom of the sink – near the drain – has a chunk missing out of it. Now, I’m no plumber but I can see that this 2 inch missing chunk is going to cause a problem. So I tell the special orders person about this.

They say “don’t worry, the drain will cover it.”

Again, I’m no expert but – uh – how in the hell big do they think the drain is anyway?? So we grudgingly march back to the faucet department where we purchased our work of art a few weeks ago and grab a drain, bring it back up front and show the guy – it ain’t gonna cover squat.

He then proceeds to tell us we need to take it back to the bathroom department and have them reorder a new one.

We go back to find the gentleman who originally placed the order and told him the problem – he took care of the reorder lickity split and we returned home only to have to return in TWO MORE WEEKS to pick up the sink again.

Two weeks later – the call comes in – we once again drive to our not-so-local home improvement giant to claim the sink. As before we wait – oh – 45 minutes for them to bring it up. We open the box…

It’s two-toned. That means the sink bowl is a different color than the rest of the sink. Not how we ordered it, nor how the first one came. But as you can see we are now WAY OFF SCHEDULE so I say “what the hell” and we keep the sink. (Did I mention that the vanity cabinet has been adorning our living room for the past two weeks?)

Later that day we install the sink and discover that the drain is crooked. The hole was drilled at a slight angle causing the drain piece to form a not-so-perfect seal. I refuse to go back. I hate this sink.

Jon being the wonderful plumber he is (or used to be) rigs it so it works and you can BARELY tell it’s crooked. But I know…

About two-three weeks pass and this sink mocks me daily.

One day, we get a call from our not-so-local home improvement giant once again. “Your sink is in.”

WHAT THE @#%#@&% ????

Who is the imposter in our bathroom? Has it been watching us?? Has is been radioing notes to its mother ship??

So, Jon drives all the way back out to the not-so-local home improvement giant (because I REFUSE to go) and tells the special orders desk that he’s there for his sink.

Forty-five minutes later the man comes back and says “We can’t find it. We are really sorry. But we’ll call you when we find it.”

Jon (whose temper is much shorter than mine) is NOT happy. He demands to cancel the order and get his money back. In fear of their lives, they give it back.

We got a new entertainment center.