DO-IT-YOURSELF.

It seems they forgot to tell you that Do-it-yourself means not only do you get the luxury of attempting to figure out just how crooked the underpaid and overworked contractor team built your humble abode but you ACTUALLY get the privilege of waiting in line for an underpaid and overworked Home Depot or Lowe's employee to tell you that whatever it is that you need, is out of stock. And due to be delivered...er...someday.

Oh and by-the-way - the color you want is DISCONTINUED in whatever size you need it in so you'll have to cut it by your Do-it-yourself self with tools that we can sell you for more than the cost of a poor immigrant day worker and his entire family.

Case in point: We purchased a lovely 2-bedroom, 1.5 bathroom condo about 3 years ago. OK - lovely if you consider that the woman we bought it from was allergic to the entire outside world so insisted on hermetically sealing herself inside. With rolls and rolls of scotch tape. I mean rolls! Scotch tape held up towel rods in the bathroom, curtain rods in the bedroom and were randomly adorning various spaces through out the entire dwelling.

It smelled like old people (having hermetically sealed themselves...) and the carpet had a funky "slippery" feeling when exposed to a bare foot probably occurring from the low melting point of scotch tape.

Well for three years we have been attempting to bring it up-to-date. (Meaning: run electricity and hot water.) It amazes me what people will pay for a rat trap these days!

Nonetheless, I can honestly say that I know my local Home Depot better than most of the employees. My spouse has gotten to the point where he will just grab a ladder, and perch himself precariously on top trying to dig the item (that of course wasn't on the shelf) out of pile of miscellaneous things stacked about 2700 ft above sea level.

Our last improvement consisted of replacing both of our bathroom vanities, sinks, faucets, medicine cabinets and lights. One of the sinks we need had to be special ordered. (Of course - because nothing in our place is a standard size.)

We went to Lowe's, picked one out and ordered it. Three weeks later got the call to pick it up. We went and waited "oh about 10 minutes" (which translated into normal human terms means 1 hour) for them to bring it up front. When we inspected it there was a huge chunk missing from the bottom of the sink near the drain hole. A very large chunk. (I believe there was a VW Bug parked in it.)

When we brought it to the attention of the employee they said "no problem - the drain will cover it". I'm thinking "Did we say we were installing a manhole cover on the bottom?!"

Nonetheless, we asked them to reorder it. One week later, due to pressuring about the first wait, we received a call that it was in. We went and waited the requisite "10 minutes" for it to be brought up front. Upon inspection, it was a different sink. It had been two-toned and we didn't ask for that. At that point I thought - who cares we need it - and off we went.

It was installed and guess what? The sink drain was drilled crooked so now our drain plug thingie is crooked.

I hate this sink.